Sponge bath it is.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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