He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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