He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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