Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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