She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize