thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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