somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
this hospital has no fireball
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
