so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
