Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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