You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize