I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
