So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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