i barfeds in our rink
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
