the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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