there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
