Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
