If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
