If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
