Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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