I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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