I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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