butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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