Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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