doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
