how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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