brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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