just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize