You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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