we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
