Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
