Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
