Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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