Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
