11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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