eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Bring me that man meat
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
