Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
