just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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