whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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