True but thats because hes a fetus.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
just tell him i said nine months
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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