She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I want to be your penis for a week.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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