It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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