we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
We have so much sex to catch up on
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
