If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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