I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
