she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
