Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
