Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I believe in your delicious
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
