That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize