is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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