everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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