Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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