New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
