He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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