i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
