I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
